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Why we don’t need to dread extended singleness

Let's Talk Singleness

September 24, 2019

“Please, God, don’t let me be single that long”


Do you ever meet people who got married far older than you are now, and have this thought?

Most people would imagine that stories of women getting married older would give us single ladies hope. But often, instead, they send us into imagination-mode. Imagining what our life would look like if we, in fact, did not get married for the next x number of years.


I think about what my own twenty year old self would have thought about me being single for, at least, another eleven years.


The story in her mind would likely have gone something like this:

Laura comes home every night to an empty, dark house. Maybe she has a cat now, or ten, because that’s what spinsters do. She’s probably taken up knitting, and pours her TV dinners for one onto a plate to make them a little less sad. She’s seen every re-run of Jeopardy, and, dear goodness, she probably doesn’t even go on vacation. And how has she gotten by for so long with no one to help her? Oh gosh, please don’t let this happen to me.


Honestly, parts of that story are true.


I do come home to my cat every night, but I couldn’t possibly be happier about it. I do pour my TV dinners on a plate, but only because I think they taste better that way, and I haven’t taken up Jeopardy but man, give me a good Netflix binge any day.

Where the story steered wrong is in all that I don’t do, and in all that I can’t handle.

Though certainly not perfect, and at times painfully difficult, my single years have been filled with more than I could have ever imagined.

I say all of this to ask, what would a younger version of yourself have assumed about being single for x more years? Was she right? I highly, highly doubt it.


You see, we pity and panic over stories of women who were single far longer than us, but truly, I don’t think we need to.


We imagine the story they’ve lived in our minds, and catastrophize it, not realizing that the life they’ve lived likely looks nothing like the picture we’ve painted for them.

So instead of dreading the next unknown number of days, weeks, months, or years, let’s just go live our today, and goodness gracious let’s prove the younger versions of ourselves wrong.


Why we don't need to dread extended singleness | Extended Singleness | Singleness Quotes | Being Single | Singleness Encouragement | Dating Advice | Single Christian |

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