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“I have the perfect guy for you, but he has a girlfriend”: Encouragement for when it feels like all the best guys are taken

Let's Talk Singleness

September 21, 2019

You guys.


Sometimes I feel like my memoir is going to be called “I have the perfect guy for you, but he has a girlfriend”. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this.

First of all, this isn’t the point of the post, but I need to just say that if you have the perfect guy for me and he’s taken right now, don’t let me know he exists. Please and thank you.

Second of all, how often have you heard this yourself? Or been out somewhere, seen a cute guy, maybe even talked to him, only to hear those dreaded words “Me and my girlfriend.” UGH.

Punch to the single girl gut.


It’s so easy to think that all the best men must be taken.


Or wonder what the point is in talking to a guy, or having any hope of meeting someone new (and eligible).

Sometimes it feels like we all must have just missed the boat, and somehow all these other women managed to jump on, taking all the best guys with them.

But here’s the thing. Actually, here are four things that I’ve found bring some hope to the situation because friends, though sometimes the possibilities seem dim, there really is still hope, and here’s why:


Just because a guy is taken, doesn’t mean that yours is.


Ok, so that guy is taken. He isn’t your guy. (or maybe he is, but just not yet; as my pastor once told me, “Girlfriends are speed bumps, fiances are roadblocks”, and if a pastor said it, it must be true, am I right?)

But just because that guy is taken, doesn’t mean literally all the men in the world are taken, and it especially doesn’t mean that your guy is. It just means that maybe you haven’t met him yet. He could still be on his way. He might be riding a turtle, or reading the map upside down, but he’s coming, and when he gets to you and the time is right, he’ll be single.


All the best guys can’t be taken, because all the best girls aren’t taken.


HELLO. You’re amazing. If you’re not taken, why should we assume that all the best guys are?

Maybe there’s a guy out there right now thinking the same thing. Thinking that all the best girls are taken. But you’re still out there. You exist. You’re not taken. He just hasn’t found you yet.

Which brings me to point number three...


Just because something hasn’t been discovered yet, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.


Scientists are making new discoveries all the time. We know for a fact that we haven’t discovered everything there is to know about the world, and yet, those things we haven’t discovered yet, don’t cease to exist while we’re looking.

Just because you haven't found that guy yet, doesn’t mean he isn’t out there.


It only takes ONE.


This is the truth that I have to remind myself of most. I’m not looking for a bunch of men, I’m looking for ONE.

We don't need a whole plethora of single men because we only need one of them to be our guy. I’ll say it again: ONE. Just. one.


So sure, maybe that guy that you met in yoga class last week turned out to have a girlfriend, but it doesn’t mean that because that guy wasn’t the one, your person doesn’t exist.

One day all the guys that turned out to be taken won’t matter. All that will matter is that you found the one for you who wasn’t, and he will be worth the wait.

"I have the perfect guy for you, but he has a girlfriend" Encouragement for when it feels like all the best guys are taken | Singleness | Dating Advice | Being hopeful | Single Christian | Being Single | Single and Dating |

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