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“Are you my husband?”: Learning to live in expectant anticipation, while enjoying the here and now

Let's Talk Singleness

September 21, 2019

“Will there be any new guys at this party?”

“Hopefully there’s a single groomsman in this wedding”

“That guy isn’t wearing a ring. Maybe it’s him!”

“What if I meet him on this trip?”

“New guy at Bible study! Could it be?”


Sound familiar?


It certainly does to me. At times, these have been my literal thoughts when I’ve gone, well, anywhere. Like the baby bird in the children's book “Are You My Mother?”, I started to look at every guy in any situation as if to ask “Are you my husband?” Is it him? Will I find him here? Is today the day?

There was certainly nothing wrong with being open and hopeful, but I found myself living in such expectant anticipation that God would bring someone new, that I turned every new place and every guy into an opportunity.

So much so that I’d find myself disappointed if it didn’t come to fruition.

I started to leave parties, weddings, conferences, wherever, with feelings of disappointment when no new guy surfaced, or when the ones that did, resulted in nothing. My desire to find someone began to overcome my desire to simply live my life, and I robbed myself of the joy of what was, by replacing it with the discouragement of what wasn’t.


But I came to learn that expectant hope for the future must be balanced with the enormous value of what is now.


The quality time with those we love, the fun, the opportunities, the ways God uses us. The worth and joy of those experiences isn’t lost when we leave them without someone by our side. Their inherent value, whether we choose to see it or not, remains.

And we can make that choice. To have a desire and hope for the future, without allowing it to overwhelm our desire to live this life today. We can trust in God’s power and plan, without trying to predict it, living with expectant hope, while soaking in the now and every experience exactly as it is.

Because whether or not we meet our person at that party, that night out with friends, or on that trip, those moments are a joyous part of our God given lives.

Lives and moments that matter regardless of if or when our relationship status changes. In the midst of our expectant hoping, let us never lose sight of their worth.

"Are you my husband?" Learning to live in expectant anticipation while enjoying the here and now | Singleness | Christian Singles | Dating Advice | Expectant Hope | Being Hopeful | Choose Joy | Finding Joy |

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