What was your reaction the first time someone suggested being content in your singleness?
I’m pretty sure my internal response was something like “Um sure, thanks for your input. Now please take that thought with you and get on up outta here. Also don’t come back. Thanks. God bless.”
I literally could not wrap my mind around it. To me, saying yes to contentment meant saying no to ever being married. It felt like giving up. If I was content, why would I keep looking? How would it ever happen? I honestly used to have those thoughts.
But then last week, as I sat alone on a beach in Honduras (more on how I ended up there here!), I had THIS thought:
“This is A-MAZ-ING. Thank you God for bringing me here, a place I never expected, nothing could make this moment better.”
NOTHING COULD MAKE THIS MOMENT BETTER?!
I’m sorry, what? What happened to the girl who thought nothing was worth doing without a boyfriend, dreaming what every situation would be like with a guy? That girl was gone, and this girl was content. And you know what?
I don’t think it disqualifies me (or you) from getting married. And here’s why:
I enjoyed every second on that beach that day, but if a cute, single, nice guy had sat down in the sand next to me and introduced himself, would I have asked him to go away? Uh, no. That would be a negative.
You see, being content single doesn’t mean we have to shut down every opportunity to meet someone new.
You betcha that I sure as anything will check a cute guys hand for a ring in .5 seconds. But the beauty of arriving to that place of contentment is that nothing has to be lost if no one shows. The joy of the moment can remain, either way.
So if you’ve been fighting joy and contentment this week, fearful and worried to let yourself sink into the now for fear of losing the future, I hope to encourage you.
Feeling joy where we are today doesn’t disqualify us from feeling joy over something else tomorrow, and finding contentment in today doesn’t mean we can’t still hope that things might be different tomorrow.
In our complexity as humans it doesn't have to be one or the other. We can do both.
It is my hope and prayer for you that you’ll choose both.