I felt it.
The twinge. That little spark that shivers through us when joy creeps in. I felt it. And in the very same moment, I pushed it away.
You see, life wasn’t as I thought it should be, the way that I planned. What I saw around me was simply what I had, but never what I had wanted. So letting joy in? In THAT moment? No thank you.
That would have been denying my reality.
Giving up my rights to my disappointment; dishonoring my feelings. And no way was I going to let this joy, the joy in a circumstance that I never wanted, seep its way into my heart, the place where I stored my hope for a different future.
My answer to joy was no. I won’t open the door for you.
Not even one inch.
That, friends, is what I thought of joy during the holidays for many years. It simply wasn’t welcome. I didn’t want any part of what it had to offer. It made us accept things just as they are, forget to grieve what is not, and give up our longing for a different future.
Or at least, that’s what I thought joy did.
But I have a message for you this holiday season, dear friends.
After years of pushing it away, I finally began to let joy in, and I need to tell you the truth.
Joy isn’t here to blind us to what is. It doesn’t rob us of our hope for what may one day still be. And it doesn’t bar us from grieving what never was, or perhaps no longer is.
Instead, it brings us to life, here in the now. It breathes breath into tired lungs and strength into weary hearts. It makes its home inside of us, not snuffing out our hope, our grief, our reality, but instead enveloping them, like a warm hug from a close loving friend.
Friends, this holiday season, I know that life may not look as you expected, or maybe even as you still hope it may one day be.
But when you feel it, when that twinge of joy tugs on your heart, promise me you’ll take a chance, and let it come in.
I am certain you won’t be sorry. ♥️