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Dear Fellow Single Girl,
Whew, girl. I’ve been feeling it lately. That overwhelming feeling I sometimes get when I just wish I had a partner to do this life with. Do you know that feeling I mean? It comes and goes but man, lately it has come in with a vengeance.
From car trouble, to unexpected bills, to all that comes with moving, and starting a new job. It’s felt like a lot, one thing after another, and sometimes all I want is someone to just take out the gosh darn trash while I deal with the rest of this.
It always makes me think about that scene from the Gilmore Girls (basically my reference for life).
Lorelai is chatting with Luke and she says:
“I like my life, I like my friends, I like my stuff. My time, my space, my TV. But every now and then, just for a moment, I wish I had a partner, someone to pick up the slack, someone to wait for the cable guy, make ME coffee in the morning.”
“Someone to pick up the slack.”
That’s the part that always gets me. Someone to even just help with the little things when life seems full of more pressing big things. Just someone to take out the trash, or like Lorelai says, wait for the cable guy. (I know I’ve mentioned taking out the trash twice now, but if you know me personally, you know this is my arch nemesis)
Of course, someone to “pick up the slack” isn’t the only reason I want a partner. But some days, you just feel like you need someone to lean on. Someone that you’re in this whole thing called life with.
Do you know what I mean?
Who am I kidding, I’m sure you do! I’ve had this talk with so many single women, and at some point or another, it seems we’ve all felt this way. Most recently I had this conversation with a good friend of mine who just bought her first home (get it, girl!). One night a few weeks ago we had a huge rainstorm, and she noticed a pool of water right outside her door. In an effort to keep her home from flooding, she braved the rain, in the dark, armed with a step stool, and reached her hand into the muck and yuck that was clogging her gutters.
This may not seem like such a huge deal. These things happen, and she was totally capable of handling it. But every now and then, when you begin to tire of handling everything on your own, you just wish someone was there with their clothes soaked through, holding the flashlight, sorting through the muck with you.
It’s tough. It’s lonely. And sometimes can feel downright overwhelming when it all falls back on you.
In these moments, I often think to myself, “One day I’ll be better at handling this, because someone will be here by my side.”
I automatically assume that I’m handling things poorly. That I’m not doing a good enough job, or am not capable enough on my own, likely because I never pictured doing any of this on my own. I never intended to be Miss Independent, and because it wasn’t part of my plan, I’ve always assumed I’m not equipped.
But you know what? I AM doing this on my own.
And girl, so are you. Things are getting done. Bills are getting paid. Cars are getting fixed. The trash eventually makes it to the dumpster. The gutters are getting cleaned, and floods are being prevented.
We’re doing this, girl! We may not always feel comfortable, but we don’t have to be comfortable to be capable. We may not get it perfect, but we get it done. And we may not always feel prepared for what comes, but darn it, we figure it out!
One day, if we do get married, do I think there will be some relief to have someone alongside us on this ride? Yes, I do. With a husband, we might have a teammate to high five when we make it through, but I don’t think being married will make us any more capable than we already are. We’re already there. We’re already doing this. We CAN do this.
So, my dear fellow single friend, if you’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately, if you’ve had a Lorelai moment where you just wish someone would pick up the slack, I get you.
It’s hard and exhausting, and sometimes downright scary. I know how you feel, but I also know you can do this. You might do it scared, feeling unprepared, or worried, but none of that will stop you. You’ll get it done. You always do.
And in those moments? Know that there’s a whole sisterhood of single women out there cheering you on, and we are so proud of you.
Because girl, you’ve got this.